Boys Night, Girls Night
by Numbatstuff
Summary: So both Jacob and Rachel head out for their respective Thursday nights on the town. This story follows on from The Zoo, and is rated M  for a reason!
1. French

This story follows on from The Zoo.

It contains a lot of important talking just like it's predecessor because, well, we're just in talking mode at the moment, but there's some other um, "stuff" that happens along the way. It's divided into four chapters as it's made up of 4 distinct scenes, but I don't intend to introduce each scene or give each it's own soundtrack. And as i always say, it's rated M for a reason, so please be warned.

And Jacob, who's feeling more than just a _little bit _frisky tonight, has picked this song. If you don't know it, check it out on Youtube cause it's pretty cool (I think that maybe it's a bit sexIST, but Jacob says its sexY, and who am I to argue with him!)

Soundtrack: Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond  
I want a girl who knows what's best  
I want a girl with shoes that cut  
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations  
Who's fast and thorough  
And sharp as a tack  
She's playing with her jewelry  
She's putting up her hair  
She's touring the facility  
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnng jacket...

I want a girl who gets up early  
I want a girl who stays up late  
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity  
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape  
With fingernails that shine like justice  
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

She is fast and thorough  
And sharp as a tack  
She's touring the facility  
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnng... lonnng jacket

…

"Would you like a cup of tea before you leave Jake?" Rachel called up the stairs of his house. They'd been home from the zoo for an hour or so and he had checked his emails and spent some time messing around with his animals in the tank room, then had grabbed a quick shower and was getting dressed. Rachel was already showered and dressed for her night out with Jess.

"Tea? Why tea?"

"I just feel like tea."

"OK, thanks sweetheart, I'll be down in a minute," he called back.

She returned to the kitchen, kettle in hand, and proceeded to fill it with water from the faucet. As she turned around to put the kettle on the cordless base, she found herself in his arms. He was still warm from the shower and his hair was damp. His face was smooth and freshly shaven and he smelled of shower gel and aftershave.

"I was thinking about you in the shower," he whispered, burying his face into her hair at the side of her neck. "I think we have some unfinished business after the zoo don't we?"

"Is that so?" she smiled, arching her neck and running her free hand up to his damp hair. She loved the passion in his soul, his never ending desire for her.

"What the hell do you have on," he said, standing back from her and running his eyes appreciatively down her body. She and Jess were going out for dinner at their favourite Mexican and had decided to hit a club in town afterwards for old times sake. At the zoo she'd worn her standard FBI uniform of sensible pants and a shirt, but had decided to go basic black for the evening and had changed into a short black skirt and black stay up stockings, a simple black top and sleek knee length stiletto heel boots, all topped off with a long, mid calf black leather coat.

"Jesus Christ baby, are you trying to blow my fucking mind? Why can't you dress for work like this? You'd look like one kick ass FBI agent then," he frowned, before pulling her close to him and slipping her coat off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

"That is one sexy coat, but it has to go," he murmured as he held her body close to his and nuzzled at her neck.

His hands roamed restlessly over her back and down to her ass. "I have half an hour before I have to go and meet Frank. Feel like a quickie?" he whispered.

"Feel like a quickie? What kind of thing is that to say," she replied with feigned indignance. "That's probably the least romantic thing I've ever heard you say Jacob Hood. And we're not even married yet! What happened to seducing me, taking me to our bed for hours?"

His hands roamed upwards and over her breasts while he kissed up the side of her neck to her ear. "Let me make love to you my beautiful woman," he murmured.

"Mmmm," his breath in her ear sent a shiver up her spine. "That's much better," she murmured, "now if you could say it in French, I'd be upstairs in a flash." His hands had pulled her top out from the back of her skirt and she could feel his warm fingers caressing the bare skin of her back, pressing her body into his.

"Permettez-moi de faire l'amour avec vous ma belle femme" he whispered.

"You are such a show off," she laughed. "I just meant in a French accent."

He smiled. "Let me make love to you my beautiful woman," he repeated in English, but this time with a strong French accent.

He whispered the words with his velvet voice directly in her ear, and Rachel felt her body responding to him, a warm, melting feeling between her thighs, her nipples hardening. She pressed close into him and she could feel his cock already thick and anxious against her belly. She could never resist him when he was hard for her.

"Let me put this kettle down," she whispered running a single finger slowly down the length of his back to his belt, "before I spill it everywhere."

"Hurry up, or I'm going to spill everywhere," he replied, his hands on her ass pressing her firmly into him. "It's been three days baby, and after seeing you dressed like this, I'm not going to last if you take too long."

She laughed, pulled away from him a little, her hand in the middle of his chest. "Did you just say to me 'it's been three days' like that's some kind of torture?"

He shrugged his shoulders, looked helpless, "That is some kind of torture sweetheart. You know I want you every day."

"Well you aren't having me _every_ day Dr Hood. I think having to wait three days once in a while is perfectly reasonable."

She pushed him away gently with her hand on his chest and put the kettle on its base, flicked the switch. He raised his eyebrows.

"What?" She said laughing, "I still want some tea and this isn't going to take long by the sound of it." She took out two cups from the cupboard and put a teabag into each one. Went to the fridge and took out the carton of milk, placed it on the bench next to the cups. Finally she turned towards him, backing him up against the opposite kitchen bench, unbuttoning his shirt.

He smiled. "Thank god. You had me worried for a minute."

"So, are we going to do it here, or on the couch or the dining table?" she said seductively, running her hands inside his shirt and over his warm bare chest.

He slipped his arms around her and cupping her ass, lifted her up by her bottom, "wrap your legs around me, I'm taking you upstairs."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist. Her skirt rode high up her thighs and she enjoyed the feel of his thick erection hard up against her open groin.

"Why taked me upstairs? If we have a quickie in the kitchen I'll get my tea sooner."

He held her hard up against him, his big hands wrapped around her ass. "Matthew has a key and he's home from school by now; he could come in and feed the animals at any time. And this is one biology lesson that I don't imagine Suzanne and Rob want me giving him," he whispered with a laugh.

"Anyhow, I thought quickies weren't romantic enough for you. I thought you just said I had to make passionate love to you in our bed" he said, in perfect Russian.

"I have no idea what you just said," she laughed as he took off with her up the stairs, "but I think you're just showing off again. Was that Russian?"

"Mmmm," he murmured into her neck, nibbling at her ear as he stopped on the landing, pushing her up against the wall and grinding against her. "Sergei taught me Russian one spring break." He unzipped each long boot and slipped them one by one off her feet. "I love these sexy boots."

She pushed his shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor and slowly ran both of her hands over the strong warm muscles of his back. "Are you sure we're going to make it to the bedroom big boy," she teased.

He bent his head to her breast and tweaked her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. It was like an electric shock straight to her groin. She arched her back. "Fuck me here on the stairs," she gasped.

"_You_ are a wanton woman," he whispered. "But I was told before that I have to make love to you in the bedroom, not have a quickie on the stairs."

"Well hurry up and get to the fucking bedroom then," she murmured.

He made it to the top of the stairs in a couple of strides, kicked open the bedroom door and fell backwards onto the bed with her on top of him. Their lips were locked together in a passionate kiss as his hands ran down to her waist. He quickly reached behind her, flicked open the button on her skirt, unzipped it and pulled it down over her hips.

"Stand up," he said, his voice rough with desire, "so I can get this fucking sexy skirt off you." She stood up on the bed, her feet straddling him, and he reached up and pulled both her skirt and black satin panties down her legs until they were resting on his chest.

He looked up at her standing open legged and naked above him, her stay up stockings still hugging her thighs, exposing the naked flesh at the top. He lay back on the bed, slipped his hands behind his head and smiled up at her, narrowing his eyes slyly.

"Now that is one fine view," he murmured appreciatively. "The only thing that could make it better would be if you were completely naked and I could see your beautiful pink nipples.

She looked down at him and after few moments moved her foot trying to get it out of her clothes, "Jacob, I'm not standing here forever for your viewing pleasure, and that enormous tent pole in your pants is begging for my attention."

"No, no, stay as you are," he said, stilling her foot, placing it back down next to him, and running his hands up her stockinged thighs to the warm bare flesh at their top. He caressed her intimately with his long thumbs and spread her open.

"You are beautiful," he whispered, and in one swift move he sat up and traced the outline of her vagina with his tongue.

"Jesus Christ, Jacob" she gasped, as he lapped at her wetness from below, running his tongue along her to her clit and sucking her gently. His hands grasped her buttocks, holding her firm against his mouth, fingers caressing her.

She stood for a few moments, enjoying the unbelievably erotic feel of his lips on her and his tongue in her, but as her arousal grew stronger, she felt her knees beginning to buckle.

"Jake I'm going to fall, my legs are going to give way," she whispered, unable to cope with his skilful mouth stimulating her any longer.

He eased her downwards towards him, and bending her knees, laid her gently on the bed, moving so he was above her. He pulled her skirt and panties off of her feet and tossed them on the floor. Rolled each stocking slowly down her leg to her foot, gently kissing the bare flesh of each leg as he exposed it, before discarding the stockings on the floor with the rest of her clothing, until she was naked from the waist down. He leaned forward and kissed her full on the mouth, his tongue caressing hers and tracing the inside of her mouth in the same way it had just been tracing the inside of her body. She could feel his rigid erection, still trapped inside his pants, as he kissed her and she ran her hands down to his muscular ass, holding him firm against her.

His hands were making quick work of undoing the buttons of her shirt and unclipping her black satin bra, and she was soon completely naked and spread beneath him.

"You are exquisite," he whispered to her in French, "I want you and I want you now." She murmured her approval, struggling with his belt and his pants, trying to free him from his clothing.

"Help me Jake," she whispered, "I need you out of these pants." He moved backwards off the bed, unbuckled his belt and slipped off his pants followed by his trunks.

She looked up at him standing naked and aroused before her and smiled. "Now that is one fine view," she said appreciatively.

"I'm glad you approve," he murmured as he knelt back on the bed and moved up towards her until he was poised between her thighs. She reached down and gripped him firmly, running her thumb over the dripping head of his heavy cock. She could never resist the feel of him hard and alive in her hand, and she watched him frown intensely, watched him bite his bottom lip as she ran her hand along the slick length of his cock. She loved to watch the arousal on his face. "Let me do this, I want to watch you come on my belly," she whispered.

"Rachel," he gasped, nostrils flaring, "I want you to, but I need to be in you. Let me fuck you."

His eyes were black with desire and she felt wanted and sexy in his hands. He ran his big warm palms over her body, her breasts, her belly, down to her hips and under her buttocks, lifting her up to him.

"Yes," she murmured, gliding her own hands up her body to her breasts and flicking her hard nipples with her thumbs. He groaned at the sight and gritted his teeth, plunging into her deep and hard.

"Jacob," she gasped, and moving her hands to his waist, pulled him down onto her. She arched her hips up to him and wrapped her legs around his, her heels digging into the back of his thighs, moving with him as he rammed into her passionately.

"I love the feel of your bare cock in me," she murmured as he caressed her body with his hands, kissing and sucking her breasts, the feel of his tongue on her nipples sending jolts of electricity to her groin.

"I'll remind you of that on June 12 when you're in the middle of labour" he whispered.

"It's ok, I'll be having a c-section," she replied, eyes closed.

"I don't think so," he breathed

"Oh, I do sweetheart." She arched her back and thrust her hips up to him, gripping his back with her fingers.

"Wait baby," he murmured, stilling his thrusts and moving his hands up to her hair. He held her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks and her eyes and her forehead.

"I'm going to come unless you slow down. You have no idea how fucking fantastic it feels to be inside you. I could stay like this forever." He stopped kissing her and looked deep into her eyes.

"I love you so much Rachel. You have me by the heart and by the balls; you know that don't you?"

She ran her hands up to his face. Traced the outline of his cheekbones with her thumbs. "Let's not wait to get married," she whispered. "Let's just do it soon before I start to show. I want us to be married before the baby's born."

He smiled. "You have to know that is the sexiest thing you've ever said to me." He kissed her fingers as they traced his lips, his tongue touching the pads of her fingertips. "How about two weeks on Saturday?"

"That's pretty short notice."

"Do you have anything else on that day?"

"Well no, but…"

He shrugged, "well nor do I, so it sounds perfect"

She shook her head, "I'm not sure we can organise it all in two weeks, but if that's what you want…"

He bent his head and nuzzled the side of her neck, "you know it is," he whispered into her ear.

"Ok then. Two weeks on Saturday." She arched her neck as he nibbled at her ear lobe. "And seeing as I'm giving you what you want, I think you should give me what I want."

"Anything for you my beautiful, what do you want?" he murmured as he ran a line of kisses down the front of her neck.

"I want you to do the thing."

"The thing?" He lapped at the hollow at the base of her throat.

"You know, the grinding thing you do," she thrust her hips up against his, "and I want to feel you come inside me hard and fast and hot."

He narrowed his eyes and smiled, flicked his hips against her, grinding his pubic bone against hers, massaging her clit with the base of his cock.

She gasped, "God, yes, that's the one."

And as he moved slowly against her, each deep, long stroke caressing her nerves with his body, she felt her orgasm building inside her. She stretched her arms above her head and arched her back, giving him absolute control of her body.

"Fuck, I can feel you baby" he murmured. "Come for me. Come for me hard."

He bent his dark head to her breast and sucked and tongued her nipple as he thrust deep and hard inside her. Her nerves were on fire.

"Don't ever, ever stop doing this to me Jake, I love you, you make me…." And then she just groaned, unable to speak as he controlled every fibre of her being.

Her toes contracted and she felt her release spark along the muscles of her inner thighs to her groin and then hang there, teasing, dancing a slow dance of seduction with the burning hot feeling in her vagina, until the two met and embraced and exploded, wracking her body with waves of pulsing pleasure.

"Rachel," he gasped, feeling her every muscle contract and pulse around his cock, sucking him deep into her, caressing him like a million fingers, like a million tongues. He slid his hands down to her hips, his fingernails digging desperately into the soft flesh of her buttocks. He rammed into her hard, trying to get ever closer to her until the build up of intense sensation in his body became too much, the muscles of his ass contracted and on a wave of sheer ecstasy, he pumped his release deep and hard inside her.

...

They lay wrapped together, breathing heavily. Her head was on his chest and she could hear his heart pounding. He ran his fingers lightly up and down her arm, unable to stop touching her skin.

"Good god, Jake" she finally gasped. It's literally impossible to have a quickie with you isn't it?"

"Jesus Christ," he said laughing. "You told me you didn't want a quickie. You said that was the least romantic thing I'd ever said to you."

"Well it was, but now you're going to be late. You mustn't keep the Director waiting," she teased.

"Frank can fucking wait," he said languidly. "I can't even walk right now. Anyway, he'll understand when I explain that I was busy having hot sex with my handler. He's always been understanding like that. Ever since we had to share a dorm room in college. He and Sergei spent plenty of time waiting for me while I learnt French."

She laughed.

"No really," he said. "There was a French exchange student who was teaching me to speak French and the boys thought we were having sex. But honestly, we weren't, she was just teaching me the language. But because Frank & Sergei thought we were getting it on, if I hung a tie on the door handle of the dorm, they would disappear and leave us alone for a few hours. To this day, they still insist we were at it all the time. Still don't believe me."

She laughed. "I think I'm more inclined to agree with them on this one. I think they and I both know what you're like."

He held up his hands. "No, honestly," he said, "how do you think I became an accomplished French linguist."

"Although she did teach me a thing or two about fellatio in between the language lessons," he added in French, with a laugh.

Rachel smiled and tapped him on the nose. "So she taught you to be a cunning linguist not just a French one."

"Rachel! That is such a terrible old joke. I can't believe you said that"

Then he stopped and frowned, looked at her suspiciously.

"Oh, did I not mention that I speak French as well," she giggled.

"You cheeky little minx," he laughed. "Anyhow, I'd better go and have another shower. I can't really go to the club smelling of perfume and sex." He stretched his arms above his head, yawned. "I'd rather stay here with you though. Let's just blow everyone else off and stay in bed."

"No love, we need to go. I need to talk to Jess tonight."

"Why?"

"Just girl stuff."

"Girl stuff? What, you need Jessica to convince you that marrying me and having my baby is not such a terrible idea after all," he laughed.

She shrugged.

"What? He frowned at her absence of denial. "Surely you're not serious?"

"Don't be silly, I just need to talk to my friend that's all."

"Yep," he rubbed his face in frustration. "Well I just hope she's got something useful to say to you, because I'm done with talking. I thought setting the wedding date meant you were ok with everything."

"I am ok with everything," she replied defensively. "I just want to talk to Jess that's all. Surely I'm allowed a little space occasionally."

He snorted. "Oh, don't worry. I'll give you as much space as you like, _darling_. I'm going to have a shower."

She watched his sexy naked butt disappear into the ensuite bathroom and sighed.


	2. Whiskey

"Whiskey, Mr Fuller and Dr Hood?" The young waitress placed the unopened bottle of 10-year-old single malt on the low table along with two heavy cut crystal glasses and an ice bucket full to the brim with ice. She was bending over the table directly in front of Jacob and he averted his eyes to avoid looking directly down the front of her ample cleavage. Before he did, he couldn't help but notice that her pale breasts were partially clad in an extraordinarily appealing teal green silk and lace bra, his favourite colour.

She began to stand and as she did, he glanced up and found her looking directly at him. She smiled shyly and he returned the smile. She was young, with long, thick, almost sculpted, wavy red hair, big bright blue eyes and full, sensual lips. She was tall, with a full, voluptuous figure, long legs and big breasts. He thought she was probably a theatre arts student or maybe a burlesque dancer. She had a theatrical air about her, and her makeup and general appearance had a feel of the 1920's. He wasn't one for checking out women at random but he found her breathtaking and intriuging.

"Please, call me Jacob," he said. "It's after 6, so I'm no longer Dr Hood."

She smiled shyly, nodded her head, turned and walked away. He watched her retreating figure, ran his eyes languidly down the curves of her body, shapely backside and the seam of her stockings as they ran down the back of her long legs.

"Jacob!"

"Mmm," he tore his eyes away from her and turned to Frank. He was frowning at him.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"That." Frank gestured in the direction on the waitress. "Please, call me Jacob."

"I'm only trying to be polite Frank," he said eyebrows raised. "Waitresses are people too you know."

Frank shook his head. "You're fucking incorrigible aren't you? Just open the whiskey."

Jacob leaned over and cracked the seal on the bottle. Filled the two glasses with ice and poured the first of many glasses of the liquid gold that they would drink that night.

"Shit, am I glad to be out of that stinking office today," Frank sighed, stretching out in the big leather armchair.

"Here." Jacob handed him a glass. "Anything I can help you with?"

Despite Rachel's protestations that they were not to go to the club and come home stinking of whiskey and cigars, that was of course exactly where they were, whiskey glass in one hand and fat Cuban in the other. They had been coming here for the last 15 years despite the complaints of Frank's wife Maria, and they weren't about to change their habits now.

"No, not really. We've just had some nasty cases over the last week. Our cleanup rate for the month is way down. Lost an agent during a drug bust. And internal politics is driving me nuts."

"That's why I keep my head down and stick to the science," Jacob remarked dryly. "I've never known how you cope with the bitching and moaning."

"Neither do I sometimes. And the latest is Madeline Cox. We've been conducting an internal investigation on corruption charges into her for a while now and it finally came to a head this week. Nothing concrete turned up so we won't be laying formal charges against her, but she pulled the pin after twenty years, only six months after being made Deputy Director. Didn't have the support of her staff. They were glad to see her go."

"That doesn't surprise me. She's always been a bitch Frank. Even back when you were working together all you did was complain about her. Rachel didn't have a good time that week she spent with her, so if she treats all her staff like that it's no wonder she didn't have their support when her back was against the wall."

"And how is Agent Young? Refreshed after her weeks leave I hope? I've already got a bitch of an assignment lined up for you two on Monday. One of these drug cases. It's been dragging on for weeks and we just can't make a breakthrough. Problem seems to be the type of drugs they're manufacturing, nothing that we've known before, nothing that the drugs section can identify even with all their intelligence info and research capabilities. I thought perhaps a fresh set of eyes like yours might make a difference. Local case though so you won't have to fly anywhere."

Jacob nodded. "The rate these bastards invent new drugs I'm not surprised we can't keep up with them."

"Yeah, well I'll give you the details at our meeting tomorrow. By the way, you know I'm always up for a night at the club, but why are we doing this tonight when we're meeting tomorrow? I thought we'd catch up then."

"To tell you the truth, I've really come cap in hand to ask you a big favour. I need your help Frank." Jacob took a big mouthful of whiskey. Grimaced a little as it left a burning trail down his throat.

"What favour?"

"Well while I was away in Geneva, Rachel came to see me as you know, and we made good progress on what we decided to do for the future. How we were going to arrange our working lives."

"Excellent." Frank took a drag of his cigar. Blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth.

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "Well, you might not like the solution. We decided that the best way for us to be able to keep working together would be for us both to leave and for Rachel to come and work for me…"

"Work for you? How can she work for you?" Frank interrupted.

"As my personal security. Then we would both contract back to the FBI as a team."

Frank frowned. "That's an interesting idea. I could probably work with that. Although I'd really rather not lose Rachel. She's a good agent. I've had her on my high priority list for a long time. We've spent a lot of years training her up and she's ready to start taking on some real responsibility in the next few years."

"Yeah, well this is where it gets interesting. Since Geneva, some things have happened."

"Aaah, trouble in paradise? Don't tell me she's left you Jacob. Are you ok?"

"No, no she hasn't left me. Quite the opposite in fact. We're getting married."

The Director's face broke into a broad smile. He extended his hand. "Congratulations. I knew it wouldn't be long. You never were one to take things slowly."

Jacob shook his hand with a wry smile. "That's not all though Frank. Now I swore to her that I wouldn't tell you this, but I think you need to understand where I'm coming from with my request for a favour. She's pregnant."

Frank threw his head back and laughed. "As I said, you never were one to take things slowly Jacob. That's wonderful, that really is wonderful. I'm pleased for you both. We've got some real drinking to do tonight my friend, a wedding and a baby to celebrate. That's fucking fantastic."

"Well I'm happy," Jacob couldn't contain his smile. "You know how long I've waited for this, Frank. I'm over the fucking moon. But my problem is, I now have one very messed up FBI agent to deal with. It appears that I'm just the latest in a long line of men, starting with her father, who've screwed with her head and she doesn't know whether she's coming or going."

"I'm not surprised. It has all been rather quick, even for you. For her it must feel like some out of control roller coaster ride."

"I think losing her identity as an FBI agent is going to just be too much for her at this point, Frank. She's trying to come to terms with having to become a wife and now a mother, and for me to insist that she walks away from the identity that she's known for all her working life is going to be too much. So I need you to help me."

He nodded. "I can understand what you're saying about her old man screwing with her head. I worked with Agent Young Snr you know, Rachel's father. He was a driven man. Never reached the heights he should have in my opinion. But he started drinking and his marriage broke up and he flushed his career down the toilet with his bad attitude to be honest"

"Mmmm, and he only had one daughter when what he really wanted was a brace of sons to follow in his glorious FBI footsteps."

"Do I detect a note of sarcasm there, Jacob?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Just a small one. Anyhow, all I need you to do is to find her a job. A kick ass job. But one that's safe. I can put up with a new handler. I'll be on my best behaviour. But I need to know that she and the baby are safe."

Frank nodded. "I understand. Listen, she can't stay as an active field agent anyhow while she's pregnant, she would need to take an approved position."

"I thought that might be the case. But this is my problem. If she thinks that the baby has ruined her career, limited her prospects, then she's going to feel resentful of me and the child. I need you to give her a really good job. One that has no connection to being pregnancy approved or any such nonsense. Because you're not actually supposed to know about this yet and she'd kill me if she knew I was telling you."

Frank frowned. "It is a little complicated isn't it. Have you ever thought of just letting things take their course?"

"You know I can't do that Frank."

He nodded. "Mmm, sometimes I forget what a control freak you really are Jake. Ok, well I understand that she's expressed an interest in returning to Counter Terrorism."

"No, I'm not happy with that," he shook his head. "How much more dangerous an area is there? No, what I really want is for her to work in your department."

"Mine?"

"Yep. Where I know that someone I trust is looking out for her."

Frank raised his eyebrows.

"Listen Frank. You have to know that I can't have anything happen to her. You of all people must understand that."

"I do my friend. I absolutely do. But if I give her a job in my department I'll spend the next however many months training her up and then she'll be gone to have the baby and will probably never return."

Jacob shook his head. "No, not at all. We haven't decided yet what we'll finally do, but it's highly likely that she'll take the minimum required leave and then I'll take over the care of the baby and she'll return to work."

"You." He raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, me."

"You? How the fuck are you going to look after a baby Jacob? You can't even look after yourself. That's why we have to assign you a handler."

"I don't think looking after a baby is quite the same as being out on assignment, do you Frank. I hardly think I'm going to be targeted by extremists while I'm shopping for diapers."

"I guess not. But you have to remember to feed the baby you know. You can't just leave the poor thing in its crib while you're away in your head somewhere."

"You're a laugh a minute aren't you Frank."

"Of course what I don't like about this plan is that I get to keep my Agent but I lose my Special Science Advisor. And to tell you the truth Jacob, you're probably more valuable to me."

He nodded, "I understand that Frank. But how about I do you a deal. If I find someone to take my place, someone equally as competent, and I agree to be available to him or her for advice if need be, and to still consult on tough cases, will you find a fantastic, interesting job for Rachel in your department. By 1pm tomorrow."

He sighed and stood. "Let me go and pee. I need to think about it for a few minutes before I agree to anything."

He walked away.

"Oh and Frank," Jacob called after him.

"You can't tell her that I arranged this."

...

When he returned from the men's room, he sat down heavily and shook his head. Finally he reached over and shook Jacob's hand. "Ok, it's deal, but I need to know that you'll be available if I need you, not in a physical sense necessarily but intellectually."

"Absolutely."

"And for the next few months until the baby comes, you have to take a new handler and not be a royal pain in the ass."

"Yep. I promise. But don't give me a fucking damn fool like that Steven's guy. He was an imbecile."

"Ok, I'll find you someone decent. Like I did with Rachel."

"What?" He frowned. "You picked Rachel?"

"Of course I did. I'd let Personnel assign the first few handlers but when it became obvious that they didn't know their arse from their elbow when it came to dealing with you, I stepped in and told them to pull Rachel out of Counter Terrorism and assign her to you. I knew her no nonsense attitude and thoroughness would appeal to you. I didn't envisage just how much she'd appeal to you, obviously." He grinned.

Jacob threw his head back and laughed.

"Frank Fuller, FBI Director and matchmaker. Who'd have thought?" He took a drink. "I don't think she knows it was you who assigned her to me though."

"Oh no, I'm sure she doesn't. I generally don't let the agents on my high priority list know that I have my eye on them. I don't fast track them, I prefer to let them develop at their own pace with just a guiding hand from me every now and then. I generally find that fast tracked agents just end up crashing and burning in the long run. No, I've always had high hopes for Rachel. You're not to tell her though."

Jacob shook his head, "absolutely. As long as she's not in danger I have no problem with her being in the FBI. There is one thing though. Can you not do something about this awful unwritten uniform policy? The one where all the female agents wear those terrible long pants and shirts. Tonight she has on a short skirt and a long jacket and these sexy, sexy boots and she looks as hot as hell. Much more appropriate for a female agent in my opinion. I think the FBI needs a bit of a sexy revamp. I'm willing to be a consultant on that project if you like."

Frank laughed. "That'd be a bit like putting the fox in charge of the hen house don't you think?"

He smiled. "There's nothing wrong with a bit of sexual tension. Keeps everyone on their toes."

"That's all we need. To increase the level of sexual tension in the FBI. I think there's enough of that around already. Speaking of which, what I need to know is how long you're going to keep my new Assistant to the Director pregnant. Somehow I don't think you'll be stopping at one baby do you?"

"Assistant to the Director. Really?" Jacob raised his eyebrows. "You don't mean your PA do you?"

"No, not my PA. That position is just a glorified secretary really. No, Assistant to the Director is my actual assistant, the one who works with me on cases that I need to get involved in, does research for me, recon, that kind of thing. My current assistant Tony Cho, is the one I want to take Madeline Cox's job."

Jacob nodded, "Ok…"

"Well it struck me in the men's room that by freeing up Rachel, you're actually doing me a big favour. Now I have Madeline Cox's Deputy Director position to fill, it was going to have to set off a chain of promotions. But I had a missing link because it means losing my Assistant and there was no one I was happy with to take that position without promoting some other people out of their depth. So I was looking at having to fill it externally. But if you can work with a different handler and let me have Rachel I think we can solve everyone's problems."

"Well, I'd imagine she'd have to be happy with that. You need to sell it to her at the meeting tomorrow though. And not on the basis that I arranged it beforehand. All I'll tell her before the meeting is that I told you tonight of our plan to both leave and contract back to the FBI. And you mustn't let on that you know about the baby."

He nodded. "I'm very skilled at bending the truth Jacob. After all I am Director of the FBI."

Jacob laughed. "Of course I almost forgot that you're trained in the art of lying."

"No, no, no, not lying. Just bending the truth a little," he replied with a wink. "But tell me Jake, when you're at home playing Mr Mom, how are you going to keep yourself occupied?"

"Well presumably, babies do actually take a bit of attention. Especially to start with. I'm going to begin with an open mind and not just assume that all these stay at home moms are talking crap when they say a new baby is hard work."

"Yeah sure, but intellectually you're going to go mad stuck at home. It's not like you're going to be happy just going to playgroup and cleaning the house and cooking dinner for Rachel."

"No, well I'd like to do some writing to tell the truth. There are a couple of books I've had knocking around in my head for a while. Science history. That kind of thing. And of course I still need to make that breakthrough discovery that's going to win me the Nobel prize."

Frank laughed, "and you can always teach the baby the periodic table."

"Exactly, she'll be one precocious, clued up kid that's for sure."

Jacob got to his feet. "I might go and organise us some food to soak up all this alcohol. Are we doing the vodka and caviar tonight?"

"Absolutely, Sergei would want to celebrate your news with us. I might text him actually and let him know."

Jacob smiled. "Ok, well ask him if he's free to fly over here two weeks on Saturday. You and he have groomsmen duties to attend to."

Frank raised his eyebrows. "Two weeks on Saturday, you've go to be kidding me. How are you going to organise a wedding in two weeks?"

He shrugged. "Surely it can't be that hard Frank. If man can walk on the moon, invent nano technology and recreate the big bang, surely we can organise a wedding in two weeks."

"Mmmm," Frank raised his eyebrows, poured new drinks for them both. "Good luck with that," he said as he raised his glass.

...

Jacob made his way to the bar and organised them a platter of club sandwiches. He also arranged the vodka and caviar with finely chopped egg and toast for later in the evening. He chatted to the young waitress who admonished him for coming to the bar and not letting her take their order at the table.

"If my boss sees you having to come up here to place an order, I'll be getting fired. This is a gentlemen's club Dr Hood…"

"Jacob" he interrupted.

"This is a gentlemen's club Jacob, you should just signal to me if you want to order something. Don't worry, I've been keeping my eye on you so I'll know if you need me." She smiled her gentle smile and Jacob had a fleeting thought about the taste of her lips.

After he returned to Frank, and they'd eaten their sandwiches and finished the whiskey, he signalled to the waitress to bring the vodka and caviar. Frank had texted Sergei earlier and they'd arranged to call him back at 10.30pm which was 2.30pm Moscow time. They were going to put him on speaker phone and sit and drink vodka and chat together for an hour or so.

They spent an enjoyable time laughing and talking, filling him in on Jacob's whirlwind romance with his handler, discussing his ideas for the wedding and as usual, reminiscing about their time together sharing a dorm room in college. They ended up talking for 2 hours and polishing off the vodka before ordering another bottle and another round of caviar and toast.

When they finally decided that the cost of the conversation probably outweighed the total cost of Sergei's airfare, they ended the call. He was to organise a week off of work and fly over the following weekend then stay for the week before the wedding to catch up with his old roommates and meet Rachel.

...

After all the alcohol they had consumed, Jacob badly needed to take a leak and felt like a breath of fresh air. He excused himself from Frank and after unsteadily leaving the men's room, made his way outside to the side alley next to the club. He was feeling hot and sweaty in there tonight and the cigar smoke was making him nauseous. He leaned up against the wall, hands in pockets, eyes closed. His legs felt unsteady and his head was beginning to thump. He really just wanted to lie down.

The whiskey and vodka were making his mind race and swirl into places he really didn't want to go. He had an anxious feeling nagging at the back of his mind. He hoped Jessica was talking some sense into Rachel. He still didn't honestly understand what her problem was. He hadn't said it to her in as many words, but he was starting to feel that her attitude to his baby was a rejection of him. If she really loved him as much as she appeared to, as much as she said she did, why did she find the concept of having his child so seemingly difficult? Why did he even need to be making these covert arrangements with Frank to keep her happy? His heart ached for that little baby. He wondered how many babies came into this world unwanted by their parents.

He rubbed his face. He suddenly felt like talking to Anna. She'd know what to say to lift the pain from his heart. She always did. He'd like to be holding her right now. She calmed him. Centred him.

Out of the depths of his alcohol affected mind came a thought that chilled him to the bone. What if he'd made the wrong decision rejecting Anna again and choosing to make a life with Rachel. What if he just should have stayed with Anna in the first place. She'd been with him through thick and thin. They'd always used the excuse that their relationship just didn't work, but he did adore her and there was no one in the world who understood him like she did. In his heart he'd always known how much she loved him. That she would give anything to be carrying his baby right now.

He leant back against the wall. Perhaps he should just go home. He'd had enough to drink. He'd discussed with Frank what he needed to and he'd promised Rachel that he wouldn't get smashed. He sighed. Although he was already well past smashed. He knew he was. He wouldn't be thinking such stupid crap if he wasn't smashed.

He just felt like shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, all he wanted was for her to be happy. He wanted her to be happy with him. He wanted her to be happy with his baby. He didn't know what else he could do.

He closed his eyes and felt himself starting to slide down the wall. Maybe he'd just have a little sit down for a while.

He heard a noise to his left and looked over to the door as it opened, saw a figure walking down the steps to the alley. The figure was female, tall, big breasted. He watched her come down the steps in silhouette. Jesus, she had great legs.

She wasn't aware of his presence.

"Hello again," he said quietly, not wanting to startle her. She was a little taken aback but once she saw and recognised him, she visibly relaxed.

"Hello again yourself" she answered, walking slowly over to him. "Doctor Hood."

"Jacob," he said, firmly.

She stood in front of him and he could smell the heady fragrance of her perfume. She was wearing high stilettos and their faces were level. She ran her fingers slowly down his tie before she took hold of it firmly and pulled him to her, kissed him hard on the mouth. He was taken by surprise, his mouth kissing her back automatically while his brain tried to make sense of what was happening. Her mouth was full and luscious. She was a fantastic kisser and his body responded to her lips. She wound her hands in his hair holding his head to her.

Once his alcohol addled brain had worked out that this was not the right thing to be doing, he pulled his head back. "Um, he said, I don't think we…"

"Ssssh," she said placing her finger on his lips. Their faces were close together and his eyes, were drawn to her sensual mouth, her lips slightly parted, the tip of her moist tongue touching her teeth.

"You are the sexiest man in that entire place tonight. I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of you," she whispered seductively. She took a final step towards him, pressing her body up against his.

"No, I really don't think we should."

He tried to step backwards but found he was still leaning on the wall and had nowhere to go. She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently on his cheekbone, just below his eye. He closed his eyes and felt her feathering kisses across his face. It felt like the glorious kiss of an angel.

Through the haze in his brain, he knew this was wrong, but his hands went to her waist, moved up her body. She felt so much like Maggie. As his hands moved over her, it was like going home. Her big breasts pressed up against his chest, her voluptuous curves, full hips and her lips. He couldn't resist kissing her on the mouth, her lips were full and lush and delicious. She tasted like Maggie, she even smelled like Maggie. Of perfume and luscious, luscious woman. And she responded to him so willingly. Maggie had been like this, had always wanted him, initiated intimacy between them, loved him with abandon, with all her heart.

No, this was wrong. This wasn't Maggie. He broke off the kiss, rested his head back against the wall. His brain was buzzing, trying to make sense of what was going on. She continued to kiss him, nuzzling into his neck, nibbling his ear. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted her. Not like this though. In his fantasy he wanted to take her home. Wanted to lay her on his bed. Wanted to make love to her slowly. To enjoy her. To enjoy her fantastic body. To enjoy her again.

Why did he want her so much? This was so basic, so simple. It was just darkness and feeling, just lips and hands and warmth and breasts and comfort and memories and hips and flesh and bodies. Her hands were inside his shirt, on his chest, running up his back, undoing his belt. No, he had to stop this. But he didn't. His mind was devoid of rational thought, just filled with feeling and desire and memories and lust. God, he just wanted to listen to his body.

She moved up against him, ran her leg up the outside of his till her knee was resting against his hip. He ran his hand from her knee down along her thigh, slid it around and across her firm ass. She was wearing traditional stockings with a suspender belt and silk french knickers. Fuck, he'd never felt sexier panties. His hands slid across the silk, gripping her buttocks, pulling her up towards him. She gasped, wound her hands in his hair, pulled his mouth closer. Her lush breasts were pressed up hard against his chest and he could feel her hard nipples, pushing through the fabric of her blouse. He wanted to bend his head to her beautiful full breasts, take them in his mouth. This was so, so wrong. But it felt so good.

She had undone the zip on his pants, her hand inside his trunks. Shit even her hands felt like Maggies, long soft fingers, artists hands, and wrapped around him they felt like heaven. He only had to move his own hand a little from where it had crept around the warm skin of her ass and inside the loose leg of her knickers, and his fingers would be inside her. No, he was turned on enough already, if he felt her hot and wet he'd be gone. He would have to do what she so obviously wanted of him. Would have to take her right then and there up against the wall without even knowing her name. Wouldn't be able to stop himself.

She ran her tongue down his neck to the pearl on the leather cord at the base of his throat. Took the gem into her mouth. "Touch me," she whispered, "I want to feel your fingers in me."

No, this was wrong. Fuck, what was he thinking. He wasn't thinking. His cock was the only part of him thinking.

Open your eyes Jacob. This isn't Maggie. This isn't Rachel.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

Fuck.

He took a step to the side. Broke the contact. "I'm sorry," he said. "This is wrong. I can't…"

...

A few minutes later he sat down heavily in his leather armchair.

"What the fuck have you been doing?" Frank asked suspiciously, trying to focus his bleary eyes on him.

"What do you mean by that?" Jacob replied, trying to appear indignant.

"You look like you've just gone 10 rounds with Muhammed Ali. And you have lipstick on your face."

"I, um…" Jacob tried to smooth down his hair, straighten his tie and his jacket, rub the tell tale mark off of his face.

"Buddy, I can barely even stand and you've been outside screwing that waitress haven't you." He threw his head back and laughed. "You're a fucking hero my friend."

"No, I haven't been screwing her. She just tried to kiss me."

"Just tried to kiss you? That's not what it looks like."

"Well it's the truth." He shrugged, trying to appear casual.

Frank shook his head. "I'll take your word for it. You've always been a lucky bastard. You'll have to tell me your fucking secret one day. Why can women not keep their hands off you?"

Jacob shook his head. "It's a fucking mystery to me Frank. Just give me another drink. We need to finish this bottle of vodka before I start thinking about it too much."


	3. Mocktails

"Wow sweetie, look at you. You're smoking hot tonight. I'm surprised Dr Sexy let you out of the house looking like that."

Rachel laughed and embraced her friend, kissing her on the cheek.

"It's great to see you Jess. And he didn't exactly let me leave the house like this. He had to strip the entire outfit off of me once he saw it. I don't know what the fuss is about though. It's just a skirt and top and a jacket."

"Yeah, but it's that short skirt, long jacket thing. And those sexy boots. Makes them super horny every time. Especially with you being FBI. They're simple creatures Rachel, it doesn't take much to appeal to their fantasies. Did he make you handcuff him to the bed? Or did you make him do you at gunpoint?"

"No but I should have," she laughed. "He had the cheek to complain that he'd been waiting three days."

"God, you two make me laugh," Jess grinned. "Don't ever let him talk to Rob will you. Rob thinks he's on a winner if he only has to wait three weeks, let alone three days. Come on, let's go in and grab a table. Then we can order some drinks."

"Sounds good, although I won't be drinking tonight." She tried to sound casual.

"Oh my god Rachel. Are you pregnant?"

"Why would you automatically think that? I might be on antibiotics or I might have to get up early for work or something."

"You're pregnant!"

"Jess, you aren't listening to me are you?"

"I can't believe it Rachel. What about your implant? Did you have it removed? Or did Dr Sexy just bypass it?"

"Jess!"

"I am so, so happy for you Rachel. You two are going to make beautiful, beautiful babies. How many do you think you'll have? Are you going to leave the FBI?"

"Jess. I haven't even told you I'm pregnant."

"You don't need to tell me. I'm your best friend. I already know. And guess what. We're finally going to be mommies together. I've waited so long for us to have a baby together. I thought it would never happen."

"What? Oh my god Jess! Are you pregnant as well?"

"As well. See, I knew you were," she said triumphantly. "Yes, yes, we got carried away a few weeks ago and decided to chance it with no condom, said that we wouldn't mind trying one more time for a boy if anything happened and bang. That was all it took. When are you due Rachel, how many weeks are you?"

"Only 6 so apparently I'm due on June 12. How about you?"

"Well I only did the test a couple of days ago so I think I'm only 4. So I'd be due about the end of June I think. But I usually go early. This is so exciting."

Jess took her by the hands. "I can't believe it Rachel. I was beginning to worry that you'd never know the excruciating pain of childbirth and the agony of sore nipples and sleepless nights."

"And, oh my god, what's this?" She'd felt the blue diamond on Rachel's ring finger as she held her hands. Raised it to her face and admired it.

"Wow, this is absolutely beautiful Rachel. Are you two engaged as well? Why didn't you tell me any of this? How long have I waited? You should tell me this news straight away, not make me find out for myself!"

Rachel laughed. "Slow down Jess. Slow down. It really only happened in the last week. Remember we had the big fight, and you and I talked on the phone about him being in Geneva on his birthday and you told me to fly over and see him."

Jess nodded. "Of course I do."

"Well I thought about what you said and I made him a birthday cake and flew to Geneva with it last Saturday. We talked and talked…"

"and had lots and lots of sex," Jess interjected.

"… and we sorted everything out after the fight and then he proposed to me on the plane on the way home. He arranged with Director Fuller for me to have a weeks leave and so we went to the beach house for a few days. While we were there he decided that I was pregnant and made me take a test, and it turned out he was right because he's a fucking pain in the ass and he's always right about everything. And today he gave me the ring while we were at the zoo. And we decided to go ahead with the wedding before I started to show, so it's apparently happening 2 weeks on Saturday."

"Shit Rachel, how are we going to arrange a wedding in two weeks?"

"I have no idea," she said shaking her head. "But once I said to Jake that I thought we should go ahead with the wedding he was like a horse with the bit between its teeth."

Jess laughed, "like a horse, I bet he was."

Rachel shook her head. That was the second time she'd heard that joke today.

"Well, do you know what I think then Rach," Jess said, "seeing as we're really not two chicky babes out on the prowl tonight, seeing as we're actually two knocked up 35 year olds, how about we get our Mexican to go, and head back to your place so we can put our poor sore feet up and do some wedding planning."

Rachel sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you suggested that Jess. These boots are absolutely killing me and I am so tired. The last thing I really want to do is go out on the town."

Jess laughed. "Welcome to pregnancy girlfriend!"

…

"Aaaah, that's better." Jess sank down onto Rachel's couch, feet up and plate of Mexican food in her hand. She took a sip of the mocktail they had just concocted out of assorted fruit juice and mixers, and rested her head back on the arm. "This beats going to a club any day."

Rachel was ensconced in her big armchair, feet up on the footstool. "I know what you mean. I've never been so tired than in the last few weeks. And I'm hungry and I cry all the time. And in the last few days my boobs have been so sore."

"It's just the beginning sweetheart. A never ending list of aches and pains and mental disturbances. And then the baby's born and it just gets worse. Sore nipples and no sleep and constant crying. And that's just your husband."

They both laughed.

"Are you happy Rachel?"

"What do you mean am I happy?"

"I think you know what I mean." Jess was suddenly serious. "This has all happened pretty fast for you. And last time we spoke you were unsure as to whether you could even forgive him after the fight and the things you found out about Anna. So is everything really resolved?"

Rachel shook her head. "I can't hide anything from you can I Jess?" She took a mouthful of food. "Ok, I'm happy. I am. But I don't know why I can't feel really, really happy. It doesn't make any sense to me. I feel guilty for not being able to feel more joyful about this. And I just keep thinking of Jacob and Maggie."

"Why? Why would you do that to yourself Rachel?"

"I don't know. It's completely stupid. But I have this vision Jess. Of the day that Maggie tells him that she's pregnant. A day in my fantasy, I mean I know it never happened, but she throws her arms around him as he walks in the house. He's surprised, pleased by her welcome. She gives him a huge kiss and they stand for a while just making out. Then she pulls back and says to him, 'guess what Jake, I'm pregnant' and he's so excited. They're both so excited. And she's all red hair and sunshine and bright blue eyes and enthusiasm and he's like a kid at Christmas. And they make love."

"Rachel, that's such a completely stupid thing to think. It never happened. The poor woman is dead. Why would you even think such a scene? Has he ever given you a reason to doubt him?"

"Well no, apart from the business with Anna. I mean he's loyal and loving and patient with me. I can't fault him. That's what makes me feel so bad."

"You should feel bad. I don't think you're giving him anywhere near enough credit Rachel."

"I know it's stupid Jess but I just feel I can't compare to her. She was everything to him and sometimes I think he's still in love with her."

"Of course he's still in love with her. He can't stop loving her just because she died. In fact he probably loves her more because she died. He'll have forgotten the things that annoyed him about her. About the fights they used to have. Her terrible cooking or whatever it was that she wasn't good at. You can't do anything about that. You will never be able to stop him loving her. But what you can do is to replace the memories he carries of her, with memories of you."

Rachel closed her eyes, rested her head back in her chair.

"Instead of his heart being a big empty void half filled with the sad memories he has of Maggie, you have to fill his heart to overflowing with happy memories of you. Let's get this wedding organised, let's give him memories of a beautiful day when he married the woman he loves now. And maybe that will help you to be more certain. Take away your completely irrational fear of being abandoned by him."

"I'm not scared of being abandoned." She opened her eyes, frowned.

"You absolutely are Rachel. You always have been. I've seen it in you for years. But Jacob's not going to abandon you like your dad did. He's so not like your dad. He doesn't expect you to be tough and hard and calculating – he doesn't expect you to be a man. Jacob is just confused because _you_ think you have to be those things and he doesn't understand why."

"I guess so." Rachel stared into her glass.

"So lets give him memories of a fantastic wedding and of sharing a wonderful pregnancy with you. Memories of his baby being born. And all the memories you give him will fill his heart, heal his heart. He'll never forget her and he'll always love her. But she will be his past and you will be his present and his future. Even if you're uncertain, throw yourself into this. Embrace all the wonderful things in your life. Stop over thinking. For once in your life, stop trying to second guess, just let your life unfold."

"You're going to make me cry Jess."

"I don't care _how_ much you cry Rachel. It's not like we haven't spent enough nights crying together over the years. He loves you. And he wants his future to be with you, but all you're giving him is doubt and uncertainty. And he doesn't deserve it. Every woman is worried by the thought of their first baby. Is this who I am? Can I even be a mother? You have to start looking at yourself differently. Not just as an individual but as the mother of someone else. And you have a double whammy because you have to finally, _finally_ after all these years, adjust to not being Special Agent Young but to being a wife and a mother. Part of a real team."

Rachel nodded.

"But at least he's already your team. You've already been looking out for him, looking after him for all this time. And you do look after him. I know you doubt yourself as a nurturer but you look after him each and every day. Maybe in a different way but you still do. What about that time you sat with him all night after the hallucinogen in the water? How is that not looking after him?"

"But that's my job."

"That's crap Rachel. Your job was to make sure he was ok, then go and get some sleep. A caring, nurturing person sits up all night with him and watches him sleep. Don't underestimate yourself. Stop making out that you're only an FBI agent. I know who you really are and so does he. You just need to admit it to yourself."

"I guess so."

"Give yourself the freedom to be yourself for once. Jacob is the man in your life now and he's not your dad. He doesn't expect any of the things that that man expected. All he expects of you is to be you. He loves you."

"Jess I know. I know everything you're saying is right. But… but… he's just trying so hard to make it all right. He wants to fix it for me. Wants to make me happy. And it's not that I'm not happy. But he needs to give me a little bit of space and a little bit of time to come to terms with this. But he wants to be able to do or say something that's going to make me turn around and say I'm happy now. He's such a fixer. If he sees a problem, he thinks there must be a solution and it's his job to find the solution. It's what makes him so good at his job but so crap at dealing with me."

Jess put her empty plate down on the coffee table and got up to pour them both another drink from the jug of mocktails.

"I don't think you realise how much he's already changed you. You started changing as soon as you began working together. Look I'm sorry, but you were getting hard nosed Rachel. Your dad screwed you up, made you think you had to be a man, Simon screwed you up, made you afraid to show your feelings, the FBI screwed you up, especially letting you go to Afghanistan. You weren't the Rachel that I grew up with anymore. You were becoming hard and cynical. You were in danger of becoming career FBI; of giving your life to the Bureau and retiring at 55 worn out and cynical like your old man. But from the first time you told me about Jacob there was something different about you. I think you started to fall for him long before he ever took you to that beach house."

"Well, yeah, I suppose I did a little bit."

Jess laughed. "A little bit? I think it was more than a little bit."

"Ok, well I did used to think about him when he wasn't there. And I wondered what it would be like to kiss him sometimes."

She grinned. "Kiss him, I bet that's not all you used to think about doing to him."

"Well… maybe… sometimes…"

"But this is what I mean Rachel. Don't judge yourself now on how you used to be because you're already not that person anymore. And Jacob's done this for you. He's been softening you up gradually for over a year now, making you feel again, love again, and you've finally got to this point where you're quite obviously head over heels for him and you're ready to marry him. Well it's only a little step forward to having a family with him. So just make the leap. Let him take you with him on this journey. Trust him Rachel. He won't let you fall. I know he won't. He loves you. He's literally saved you Rachel, and now he needs you need to save him. He needs you to save him from the nightmare of his past and to give him a future."

She sighed. "Ok, ok Jess, I know you're right."

"Of course I'm right. That's something that Jacob and I share. A unique ability to always be right. So now you need to say it. I want to hear you say it out loud."

"Hear me say what out loud?"

"I want to hear you say that you will stop this over thinking and embrace Jacob and your baby. Embrace this wonderful life he's offering you."

"Don't be silly Jess."

"No, I'm serious Rachel, say it."

"No"

"Say it"

"Jessica!"

"Say it Rachel"

She sighed. "Ok, I'm going to stop over thinking and I'm going to embrace Jacob and our baby. I'm going to embrace this wonderful life he's offering me."

She felt stupid saying it, but after the words had left her lips, she felt a strange sense of relief.

"Good," Jess said. "And whenever you start to feel scared or uncertain, I want you to say those words to yourself until you feel better. Do you understand me?

"Well…." Rachel frowned

"Do you _understand_ me Rachel?"

She nodded.

"Good, because this ridiculous uncertainty has to stop. You're just spoiling what should be a happy time for you and for him." She looked at Rachel sternly.

"Ok, so now we've sorted that out," she said brightly, "how about we start thinking about this wedding. Where's it going to be?"

"I have no idea. I don't think Jake would want it in a church."

"Well where do you think he would like it?"

"You know what he's like. He'd want it at the zoo or the aquarium or on a beach."

"But what about you? Where would you like it?"

"I don't really care. As long as I have a great dress and some smoking hot shoes and gorgeous flowers I'm not fussed about the rest."

"Jesus, you're hopeless aren't you Rachel. This is your wedding. Surely you must have _some_ opinion. And who are you going to invite?"

"All our immediate families I guess, and our close friends. But I'm not having anyone that Jake or I don't actually know. No distant cousins or long lost uncles."

"Ok, well we can go ahead and do your side of the guest list. Then you can get Jacob to do his tomorrow. How about you and I go dress shopping tomorrow. You have the day off don't you?"

"Yeah, I just need to go and meet with Director Fuller at 1pm."

"Well, I'll drop the girls at school and then swing by and pick you up about 9. We can dress shop for 3 hours then grab some lunch and I can drop you at the Hoover Building for your meeting. And then in the afternoon we can do the rounds of florists, because we'll need to get the flowers ordered."

"Ok."

"Then on Saturday we'll have to get stuck into the invitations. We'll need to send them out as soon as possible so we're not going to have time to get them professionally made. But I'll have a word to my sister and she can help us. We can drop into her shop and pick the paper, and the design. If I bribe her with a case of wine she might even make them for us over the weekend. I'll give her a call in the morning."

"Good lord Jess, I'm over this already."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well that's only the beginning you know. Who are you going to have for your bridesmaids? And who will the groomsmen be? What are they going to wear? And what kind of reception do you want? What kind of food and drinks? And then there's the cake. And the wedding night and the honeymoon."

"Fuck Jess. How are we going to pull this off?"

"It'll be fine love. We just need to get on with it and we need to be organised. We need a list to start with."

"A list. Yep a list sounds good. I'll get a notepad. And do you want ice cream? I've got cookies and cream or mint choc chip."

"I'll have both. If I can't drink I'm going to eat as much ice cream as I like."

"I'm with you on that one Jess. If we're going to suffer for the next eight months, we can at least go all the way with chunky monkey"


	4. Love & Guilt

Rachel had been asleep for several hours.

She and Jess had made their lists, arranged their shopping schedule for the weekend, and written a special list for Jacob of decisions he needed to make and information he needed to supply.

After a few hours they were ice creamed and listed out, and Jess had well and truly put Rachel in her place about doubting Jacob and doubting herself. They were both ready for a good nights sleep, and Jess finally left for the night at 11.30pm to return and collect Rachel at 9am to go wedding dress shopping.

Rachel was exhausted and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep the minute her head touched the pillow.

In what seemed like only a minute or two, her cell phone went off on her side table. She groaned and reached over to answer it, but she couldn't focus on the number that flashed up.

"Rachel Young" she muttered groggily.

"Oh Rachel, I'm glad I found your number on Jacob's cell." The female voice on the other end was unfamiliar. "This is Maria Fuller. Frank's wife."

"Oh Maria. Hi." Rachel had met her a couple of times. Remembered her as being a pleasant looking dark haired woman, maybe five years older than she was.

"I don't want to alarm you," Rachel was suddenly wide awake, "the boys are both safe, so don't worry. But I think you might want to come and pick up Jacob. He's asleep on our couch, next to Frank who's asleep on the floor. The taxi driver who bought them home just dropped them both off here. And I just thought you might like to know where he was and maybe pick him up so he can sleep off whatever the hell they've both been drinking in his own bed."

"Yes, yes of course I will Maria. Thanks so much for calling me."

"I wouldn't normally have bothered you. Especially at this time. But I know that you and Jake are um, involved and I thought you'd be worried. I know there's nothing worse than waking up in the morning and finding them still not home."

"Oh, absolutely Maria. I'll be there in a few minutes. Could you just tell me your address?"

…

Rachel pulled up outside the Fuller's expensive home a few minutes later and knocked quietly on the door.

Maria opened the door immediately, wrapped up against the chilly autumn night in her bathrobe.

"Thanks so much for thinking of me Maria. You're right, I'd have been beside myself with worry if I'd woken up in the morning and he wasn't there."

"That's ok sweetie. I hope you don't mind but Frank had told me that you and Jacob were an item a few weeks ago. Of course he's always welcome to stay here and it wouldn't be the first time that he's woken up here after a big night out with Frank, but I didn't want you to worry."

They walked into the lounge room and Rachel couldn't help but smile at the sight of the Director on the floor and his Special Science Advisor snoring on the couch.

"Do you want a hand to get Director Fuller upstairs?"

Maria laughed. "Of course, I forgot that he's your boss isn't he. No, don't worry. If he comes home too incapable of making it up the stairs to bed then he deserves to be left there. At least Jacob could actually manage to make it to the couch."

Rachel looked at Jacob, sprawled on his back and gently snoring. She thought he looked adorable. She wanted to be angry with him but she was just glad that he was ok.

She walked round to the back of the couch, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on sweetheart," she whispered. He stirred a little but didn't wake.

"I think you might need to be a little more forceful. They've probably drunk at least a bottle of spirits each."

Rachel looked over to her. "They stink of cigars don't they?"

"Absolutely." She grimaced, "that's why I'm in no hurry to get Frank up to bed."

Rachel leaned back over the couch. Touched his face. Shook him by the shoulder. "Jacob," she said. "Wake up sweetheart. We need to go home."

He opened his eyes groggily, looked up at her.

"Rachel. I'm sorry Rachel. I love you."

"Yes Jake, I know you do. But you need to stand up and come with me. Come outside to the car so I can take you home."

He closed his eyes again.

"Jacob. Jacob! Don't go back to sleep. You have to wake up."

"I don't want to wake up," he murmured. "Come to bed with me."

"You aren't in bed Jacob. You're on Frank and Maria's couch. I'll come to bed with you when we get home."

"I like it when you come to bed with me."

"I know you do my love. Now sit up. Open your eyes and sit up."

She gripped him by the shoulders. Shook him gently. "Sit up Jake. Open your eyes and sit up."

He groaned. Opened his eyes again and yawned. "My head hurts," he muttered.

"I'm sure it does Jake. Now just try and keep your eyes open and sit up."

"Here, give him this." Maria handed her a cup of hot black coffee that she had just fetched from the kitchen.

Rachel walked around to the front of the couch. Sat next to him and managed to push him up into a sitting position. Held the cup of coffee to his mouth and made him take a mouthful.

"Come on sweetheart. Drink some of this, then we can go out to the car and get you home."

He opened his eyes properly, frowned. Took a few more mouthfuls of coffee. "I'm sorry," he muttered "I'm sorry Rachel."

She put the coffee down on the side table. "Can you stand up?" she asked him.

He got groggily to his feet and she draped his arm over her shoulder.

"Here, let me help you," Maria said, taking his other arm. They finally got him out to the car and once he was safely belted into the passenger seat with the window open, Rachel turned and embraced the older woman.

"Thanks so much Maria," she said. "He should be a bit more awake by the time we get home."

She smiled. "Yes I'm sure he'll be fine. You're both very lucky to have found each other. I've known him for a long time now. He's a wonderful man and he deserves to be happy. I'm glad he has you."

Rachel kissed her on the cheek.

"I'd better get him home. I hope to talk to you again very soon. Oh and just in case Frank forgets what it was they were out celebrating, you might want to keep two weeks on Saturday free because I think he has to be our Best Man."

Maria smiled broadly. "That's wonderful news Rachel. If we had anything else on I'll be cancelling it tomorrow. We wouldn't miss it for the world. Now drive safely. I hope he feels ok in the morning."

A few minutes later, Rachel pulled up in front of her apartment building. Jacob was dozing, his head resting on the open window frame of the car.

She got out of the car, made her way around to the passenger side and shook him. Kissed him on the lips. He opened his eyes and looked at her sadly, in that intense, trying hard to focus way that only a drunk man can. "I'm sorry Rachel. I'm so sorry. I love you."

"You don't need to be sorry about anything baby," she said, stroking his cheek. "I'm happy to come and get you. As long as I know you're safe. Now lets get you out of this car and up to bed."

…

"Good morning sweetheart." Jacob felt her lips on his forehead. But he was warm and comfortable and didn't want to wake up.

"I brought you some breakfast," she said gently. "I thought you might need some coffee and some juice."

He opened one eye, but the brief glimpse of morning sun just made his head throb and he closed it again quickly. He had a flash of memory. A memory that made him wish the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 'You fucking stupid prick,' he thought to himself.

He groaned.

"I think I might be dead," he murmured. "Either that or there's a semi trailer parked on my head."

He heard her gentle laugh, felt her hand on his face. He thought to himself that he didn't deserve her, didn't deserve her love.

"Poor baby," she said. "Do you remember how you got home last night?"

"In a taxi with Frank I think," he replied.

She laughed again. "Sit up and eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

"I don't want to move. And I don't want to open my eyes," he groaned.

"Come on, you'll feel better once you have some coffee and some paracetamol. And I brought you juice for the dehydration and to replenish your vitamin C levels and I've cooked you some bacon and a couple of fried eggs with toast to soak up the last of the alcohol in your system."

"I think I'm going to vomit."

"No you're not. You both did that last night. Which is why the taxi driver wouldn't bring you any further than Frank's. Do you realise that Maria Fuller rang me at 2.30am to come and collect you and I found you and Frank asleep in her lounge room." She laughed. "I'm going to have trouble looking him in the eye at the meeting today since I saw him passed out on the floor."

"Jesus Christ." He opened his eyes groggily and pushed himself up on one elbow. Then promptly lay back down. "I feel like shit. My mouth is like sandpaper."

"Here," she said, sitting on the bed with her back against the bed head. "Come and sit with me and I'll administer some first aid."

He laughed, painfully, and opened his eyes again. Stretched and yawned. Then slowly dragged himself over to her. "My whole body aches," he moaned. He put his head on her stomach and she stroked his hair gently.

"Don't touch my head," he whispered, "I think it might explode."

She laughed.

"Why am I naked? he murmured.

"Well I had to get you undressed last night and I guess I just got a little carried away," she shrugged.

"Carried away?"

"You know I can't resist seeing your gorgeous body naked. And seeing as you were in no position to object, well..." She shrugged.

"I hope you didn't take advantage of me when i was in no position to defend myself," he groaned.

"Well i tried, but there were certain parts of you that just wouldn't co-operate. Anyway, come on, sit up," she said. "Lean back against me. You'll feel better once you get some fluids into you."

She was sitting upright against the bed head, pillows behind her back, legs stretched out in front of her. She bent her legs as he sat between them, leaning back against her. She wrapped her arms around his body and kissed the back of his neck.

He closed his eyes again and relaxed back into her embrace. "This is nice," he sighed, "I feel better already. You make a very nice pillow." His groggy mind was churning but he couldn't tell her what he was thinking about. Suddenly, a thought appeared to him out of the fog. It had clarity and purpose, like gold nugget glinting from a muddy riverbed. That's it. That's what he needed to do.

"Here," she reached over to the tray next to the bed. "Open your mouth."

She popped a couple of paracetamol tablets into his mouth and held the glass of juice up to his lips. He took a mouthful and swallowed the tablets. "Now take the glass," she said "and finish the rest of the juice."

He downed the juice and she took the empty glass off him and put it back down on the tray. Picked up the cup of strong black coffee and handed it to him. "Now drink this."

He downed the short black in a couple of mouthfuls and gave her the cup back. "You're a very good nurse," he murmured, eyes closed.

"Now you have to eat," she said. "Open your mouth." He did as he was told and she fed him the eggs and bacon and toast.

When he'd eaten as much as he could, he made himself comfortable against her body again and closed his eyes. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No," she said firmly. "You have things to do today. Jess is picking me up in about half an hour so we can go wedding dress shopping."

He smiled. "Really? I knew I could rely on Jessica to get things moving along. Wedding dress shopping. Do I have to come with you?"

"No you don't. You have some lists to write and things to decide. We need your side of the guest list and we need to know who the groomsmen will be and what you want to wear and where the hell you want the wedding. You might have to pull some strings somewhere because the real problem is going to be finding a venue that has an opening in two weeks. You do realise that weddings are usually booked months in advance, don't you?"

"Jesus Christ." He closed his eyes. "My head's going to explode again. I think I'll be lucky to make it to Frank's office by one, let alone write a fucking guest list and find a wedding venue."

"Poor baby," she said running her hands over his bare chest, massaging his shoulders. "You were the one who said two weeks on Saturday. So now we have to get on and organise it or it'll never happen."

"I guess so. I feel like crap though."

She laughed. "I wish I could be more sympathetic baby but it is all self inflicted you know. What were you and Frank thinking?

"Fuck knows. Frank was thinking that we had a wedding to celebrate. We ended up ringing Sergei in Moscow and having a bottle of vodka with him. And maybe a second I think. He'll be flying over for the wedding. It might get very messy you know. He's a fucking crazy man. That's why I think I'm going to give up drinking while you're pregnant."

"You don't have to do that."

"I think I do. I did something really stupid last night because I'd had too much to drink. And I treated you badly after the accident in the Corvette for the same reason."

"What happened last night?"

"It doesn't really matter, it was just something foolish and I should have known better. So I'm just not drinking. I'll have a glass of champagne at the wedding and another on our first Christmas day together and then one when the baby's born. But I'm not going out drinking with Frank anymore. We're just getting to old for this shit."

She played with his fingers as he spoke, ran her other hand over his chest. "Well you could still go to the club, but maybe you need to drink something a bit more sensible. Or at least have some mixers in your drinks. But all these straight spirits must be playing havoc with your bodies."

"I guess so, I don't really want to go back to the club anytime soon though," he replied, thinking of the waitress. "Oh, and when Sergei gets here, I need to take a quick trip to California with him."

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment. "Are you going to see Anna?"

"Anna? No, no, I'll see her at the wedding. No this is something else."

"What?"

"Just something I need to do Rachel." He winced. "Fuck my head still hurts."

"Here," she reached over to her bedside cabinet. "I have some essential oils. Let me rub some into your temples. It might help the headache."

She put a couple of drops onto her fingertips and massaged them gently into his temples. He sighed and relaxed back into her.

"That feels nice," he murmured. He lay quietly for a while as she rubbed his head gently. "You know I'm starting to feel a little better now my belly's settled and I think the paracetamol is kicking in."

He sighed, "can we not just stay here all morning?"

"I'm afraid not my love," she whispered, "although we do have about 20 minutes til Jess comes. Do you fancy a quickie?"

"Fuck no," he groaned. "Absolutely not. I don't think I'm ever having sex again."

She laughed. "I never thought I'd hear those words out of your mouth. You must feel bad baby. What happened to my endless supply of gorgeous erections?"

"I think you'll find that particular service has been temporarily suspended."

"I could wear that short skirt and long jacket, and those boots that you were so keen on last night."

"Mmmm," he whispered, eyes closed. "Well if you wore that outfit again, maybe I could manage it. Tonight anyway."

"Tonight is such a long time away though don't you think?" she whispered in his ear. "Here, I know what might make you feel better."

She slipped out from behind him and, running her hands down his naked body, kissed her way from his mouth to his groin. "I think my fucking head is going to explode now," he groaned as she feathered her lips down his cock.

"Now, now Jacob, I haven't even started yet."


End file.
